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Tour Guide Jokes

Contact Danny - Tour Guide in Israel

Since most likely we live more then a "bowshot" away (Genesis 21:6), and even more then "three days' journey" apart (Genesis 30:36; Exodus 8:27), if you wish to hire me, we have to find a way to communicate and build the itinerary.
 
You could send one of your slaves with a sealed message. If you are across the sea, I recommend the Phoenician merchants  vessels. They reach Jaffa port almost every day, bringing cedars and various goods("wheat, millet, honey, oil and balm", Ezekiel 27:17), and I am one days' journey from the sea.
 
You could also use the postal pigeon service. Maresha has an international pigeon postal port, and I am one days' journey away from them as well. Very efficient, and the carrier can be turned into a really good meal.. :-)
 
And if you prefer one the futuristic ways to communicate, please choose one of the following:
contact
   
Name: mailbox
Subject:
Comments, questions, suggestions, broken links, or anything at all:

Pressing "send" will launch your default email program
 

My Ethical code

Although not a corporation, I believe that I, and other tour-guides, should all follow an ethical code. I have never seen one made for tour guides before, and so, Inspired by the Moses himself  :-), Here are My Ethical "Ten Commandments"

The five "do":

  1. My analyses of the historical sites and subjects will strive to be of the highest quality.
  2. My explanations will always aim to be "I.A.I.":  INFORMATIVE, ACCURATE, and above all – INTERESTING.
  3. Whenever possible I will include visual aids in my guides: charts, maps, replicas of coins, etc.
  4. THE SAFETY OF MY CLIENTS COMES FIRST.
  5. So is there dignity. Gentle humor, mildly used, and in a non offensive style.

The five "Don't"

  1. I will not tell "bobe mayses" (Yiddish for "tales").
  2. I will not ask the client to cover my entrance fees and meals.
  3. I will never ask, or even hint, for a tip. I am very happy getting paid the agreed price. True that many do tip me, but I never expect it, nor feel comfortable with it. You don’t tip your physician or lawyer, do you?. Why should you tip me then? I'm good, so I charge like a good physician – above the average. C'est tout.
  4. I will not seek to take clients shopping. I will include shopping stops only if the client(s) ask for it.
  5. And I definitely will not hustle shops to provide me a commission!

 

 

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